Carry out

My fever has subsided, a good thing. So I'm left with just migraine. Popped two pills that says may cause drowsiness around seven plus but I'm wide awake right now.. Despite that, I could still consume a packet of chicken rice, rojak and a can of pepsi...


So, work tomorrow at sentosa with friends and I'm gonna enjoy it. Hope my current condition does not affect me at all :/

Battling something which I've anticipated

Flu. Coincidence? Bullshit! Dizziness, migraines, sores, cough and sore throat strikes at the same time. Drank pi pa syrup and the ticklish feeling in my throat soothed. I'm still wondering how to work on the 31st... Gonna sleep early for now

Shadow Of The Day

Almost had nothing to add. Living monotonous for the past few days, there's nothing that interests me out there, on earth, at all.

I'm just keep on blaming myself for what I've done. I'm such a failure. Entertaining others, making them LOL but, as a matter of fact, I'm a SUCKER!

Pegasus

You're good enough already, you can't expect too much of yourself. The feeling of being insecure, must get used to it. It's normal to feel it that way, expecting too much from yourself will only makes matters worse. You need to acquire a greater field of vision

The more you doubt yourself, the more I am worried and anxious over you..

Audacity

Came across a douchebag's blog. His blogskin is the same as mine! WTF?! That, I don't mind. Problem is, This douchebag is really asking for a beating. I will not disclose the reason why. That FUCKFACE!
Jealousy plays its role

Limbo: Trying Hard To Free Myself

To-day : went back to school and had soccer with friends. Feels great. It's been a long time since I'm back in school. Breathing fresh air on the pitch simply makes me better. Went to SAFRA gym and did a whole lot of twists and flips. Dare say that I've improved since the last session.

Relink

Go to stats

If you see an outstanding pageviews by Safari browser and iPhone Operating Systems, it should be..

Well, you might never see this.
Nevertheless I Am Watching Over You

Fuel injected

Walking dead. That's how I describe myself. Only the continuous blasting of music into my ears could perk me up a little. From now till Sunday, I just need to hang on. Perhaps work is better than staying in a house alone. Work = Numb My Feelings.

I could barely distinguish between nothing and pain.

It's all meaningless

I totally had enough. All of this. My family, my friends, my self, my life. Everything. I really don't know how much I'm going to take. This burden; it's suffocating. I want to be freed of all of this. I want to be free of my present life. Life has no more meaning to me. I hope someday: today, tomorrow or any other days, that I might catch a cardiac arrest and rest in peace

Premonition

Woke up this morning, wobbled my way down the stairs to the kitchen, and had the feel of like a terminally ill patient. Yes, I'm injured. Physically pressured by work. Psychologically stressed. Hadn't get a proper sleep for weeks and life is beginning to drain away from me.

I had a hunch- I guess my days are numbered.

Back to reality

From a long sleep, I've woken up, with mixed emotions. Dreamt a dream that is ever so extraordinary. Finally, I open my eyes wide. And tell myself that it's just a dream...

Anticipating the better

Finally

Date; Time

Shit: I've been living like it for already 7 days.. Lost track of the time yeah. Last night I asked my Sis if today was Wednesday. "of course! You got iPhone dunno how to check calendar meh?" Me: ...

Date is an important thing I must remember. I do not keep track of the day and time everyday, because my mentality is still on 5 September 2010. I only remember the days that are of significant importance to me. 5 August 2009; 23 August 2009; 18 July 2010; 8 September 2010; 9 September 2010; 30 September 2010; 2 October 2010; 4 October 2010; 17 November 2010; 4 December 2010

A Fresh Beginning

Putting down the past is no easy feat. Why do I feel nothing? The credits go to 'work'. Pack up my feelings and show my fake smile all day long. I have acquired nicknames like 'joker' and 'LOL-er' at my workplace. Where do I get my sense of humour? From the surrounding and recent things that have changed me.....


A promise is a promise. Promise to myself never, ever to fall in love again. Friends ask why? 'need money! You sponsor me then I go find girlfriend?' is my stupid answer. The real answer lies deep down in my scarred and feeble heart.

Grenade

Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live
Oh, take, take, take it all but you never give
Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open, why were they open?

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no

Black, black, black and blue, beat me 'til I'm numb
Tell the devil I said, hey, when you get back to where you're from
Mad women, bad women, that's just what you are, yeah
You'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya, baby
But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire
Ooh, you'd watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me, you're a liar
'Cause you never, ever, ever did, baby

But darling, I'd still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same

No, you won't do the same
You wouldn't do the same
Ooh, you never do the same
No, no, no, no

A Breached Promise

Why can't I find a confidante to speak to? Because I've just lost one... A series of unfortunate events had taken me by surprise.. Today's worse. Went down from my block to buy lunch and witnessed a suicide happened directly at where I live. I'm terribly traumatised and yet, I had no one to tell and being comforted. Posted on Facebook and my friends joked about it. Funny eh? Wait till you see it happen and you will find it's not at all hilarious..

Traumatised I am to the extent of breaking my promise and text her in hope to get an assuring quick reply. A consolation would help. But what I get disappoints me. Now then I remember I'm now alone. To face it myself...

Kiss The Rain

It's a song that I've noticed just a few days ago. With lyrics, it simply turns my mood. What do you do alone, in your bedroom, listening to this song? Cry is my foolish answer. Everytime I listened to this, I would think of the time we texted and chats. A few days ago, I stumbled upon her tweet regarding not to text her and out of impulse, I'm sure it was referring to me. Saw her previous tumblr notes and I got so freaking upset I've decided to write my bad feelings which have accumulated over the months... It's nothing much for I used my vocabulary too extensively so it looks like I'm really really disappointed. Now it's all too late...

As I've missed...

And I've been moronic...

And impatient...

For I've lost her...

Prologue

Have been treating myself like a junk these days... Numbing and torturing myself to the extent of being nearly physically impaired. Haven't slept a wink for the past two days but now I've recovered - not from the pain, but from the strain. Saw it. Can't imagine I had an emotional breakdown. To think I still have the strength to cry? To-day : I'm continuously harassed by the silence. No one to care for; to think of; to talk to; to live for...


For I'm now alone.

The reason is here: Nobody loves me. Not even my family.

To someone I knew too well than I've known others : I understand

Apocalypse; The End

Im gonna end this short.

This might be my last post( I have nothing to explain for this). Will be updating my daily life in Facebook and tumblr. Might update my blog when I'm feeling alright to do so. My apologies, viewers.

Not in the mood

Just came home after a long trip from Sentosa. Basically, I'm working there for Wednesday, Thursday and friday. All from 4pm to 3am. The first day is so freaking tiring. Had to serve two tables at a time. And this has shown me the barbaric side of singaporeans. The sight of them irks me! I'm working at Mice. Errr.. Belongs to part of RWS. the facility there is 'Boomz' but the job is quite tiring. 258 tables and 2560 guests. Wa Lao Eh!! Today's function will also be quite a big one but tomorrow's will be a small one. Ahh.. I will be very busy starting from 7pm-2am. But can text me during the time and I will DEFINITELY reply. Abit late laa... And I saw many of my friends^^v especially Jing Kang!!!

Strain

Breaking today, again. Almost seems like a daily routine... Trophies : an aching back, swollen shoulder, bruised hip, strained legs, sore elbows and wrists. Every time I crashes, the only thing I want is to lie there and pretend that I'm dead. And every time I would recover, no matter how the pain hurts.. All we need is to get up after each fall, no matter how pain it is, how difficult it is, how tiring it is, we got to try.. However each time I tried, I would get disappointments and Disappointments and DISAPPOINTMENTS! Time Will Tell. No sooner, I promise : to be a veteran in this field