Vicissitude

Downstairs. Reprimanded my adult but ignorant Sis. Another Sis of mine said, " you've changed". Yeah I know. I've changed.

Do I really CARE for people? Unknowingly though. I care for people... But do I CARE for myself?

Since incident 30/9/10, I still didn't notice that it had impacted me so damn FUCKING much. It carved deeply in my heart, leaving a gash that still bleeds painfully.PAINFULLY. I've re-read your "Past. Present. Future" post and i found out that I, too, changed ALOT. I'm avoiding REALITY. Now then I realized. I've been avoiding, escaping. Gorging on food and behaving diabolically in front of my kakis. I HATE myself!!! What should I do to ameliorate this conundrum? It's massacring parts of me. Day by day. And each day starts with a more abominable me. I could no longer recognize myself. I've become a creature whom I detest. A more alerted, sensitive and observant creature.

Yeah I'm soft-hearted or weak if you prefer. Just had an emotional breakdown. Second time for the past two months. Still sobbing while writing. How pathetic. I'm done here. Glad and pacified that you've enjoyed yourself today. Be happy.

Note: I consider incident 30/9/10 to be regardless and had nothing to do with you, so don't express any tense emotions. However, you know that.


I'm lying.

Break Dance

My first contact with b-boy today under a shelter in Greenridge and spent the whole afternoon with Yu Heng and friends. Feels like a work out. Perspire. Relieves me of the stress that builds up in me. Got a few bruises though. Before this, I accompanied Yu Heng to see dermatologist in Bukit Batok. After, we had subway for lunch in West Mall and went around making fun of people. " Balls of Steel" :DD

These small things actually lifts my mood! Due to the exams, I'm in a terrible mess(feeling down) these few days. Its somehow inexplainable as to how it feels like.

Your personal wellness is my priority. Stay cheerful.